Pets

So right now I am looking at my two very obnoxious dogs sleeping on my bed, so I decided to write a blog about pets. Right now, I’ve got more animals living at my house that I would care to admit. Keep in mind, I only like one of them, so it’s not really my fault this place is looking more like a zoo then a home. Here is an inventory of the different species of animals that I share living quarters with; two pugs, three chickens, 5 fish, and a frog. To be fair, I don’t share a house with the chickens, but the backyard is a still two close for comfort to me.

First, let me tell you about the dogs. The one I like is named Daisy. She is a littermate to my all time favorite dog that died last year. His name was Gus. Anyway, Daisy is great. She is old. She really stinks. She sleeps all day. She’s awesome. The other one is Roxy. Somehow my mom brought her home last summer, and since then, my house is a wreck. She barks at all my friends and tries to bite them. She fights with Daisy. She tries to eat all my food. Just today, I put a slice of pizza on the table and went to get a glass and bam! Pizza gone. My life was a lot better before Roxy. Although it is hilarious to squirt her with water when she starts barking. It’s the highlight of my day. Sometimes I ring the doorbell just so I can squirt her.

Don’t get me started on the chickens. I hate them. Seriously. What family has chickens as pets? Their names are Nugget, Alfredo, and Spicy. I’d really like to get rid of them, but I do like omelets and I’ve had a lot more of those since they started hanging around here, so maybe I’ll just tough it out.

The fish and frog hang out in my brothers room. He also had a turtle, but it creeped my mom out, so now it lives at my cousins house. I don’t really care about them but just the idea of them bugs me. My mom never let me have a turtle, or fish, or a frog. Why when the little brother comes around does it suddenly become OK to get more pets. I wanted a lizard when I was 5. Guess what! No lizard.

Someday I’m going to have my own place, and guess what, it’s only going to have one pet living there. I think it will be a bulldog. I like them because they are funny and they are super fat. I’m going to name my bulldog “Meat”. I like that name because it’s cute. I’m not going to dress him up in clothes. What is the point. I watch movies with dogs dressed up in clothes and it doesn’t make any sense to me.

To sum it up, this place has too many pets. I think there should be a law that limits two pets per household. But if my mom suddenly buys me a bulldog, I guess I won’t send him back.